Because of allergic reactions I have a great fear of pain meds, preferring to tolerate the actual pain as the lesser of the two evils. I must say that in this case I did not experience the normal post-surgery extreme dizziness and nausea reactions, a big praise to God and grateful appreciation to everyone who prayed on my behalf. So far this has been a huge highlight of my medical journey.
I know there is no such thing as a comfortable position, regardless of whether it is upright or prone. I have learned that coughing, sneezing and blowing your nose can feel like an explosion in your back. Who knew?
Danny keeps telling me it will get better, and slowly but surely I suppose it is, but it is like watching pain dry. The long nights are the worse as I move from one uncomfortable spot to another. (We have a waterbed so I don’t even get to lay in my own comfy bed). I use a fuzzy TV screen as a very big night light; the Soundscape music channel provides my lullaby.
Yesterday we looked in the guide book provided by the hospital, to see if I am on the right track towards a Promised Land recovery. No where in the book mentions if you have previously had both your hips replaced, or if you are experiencing pain while walking in knees that will probably be next on the surgery schedule, or even if your leg is numb and swollen beyond recognition because, after all, nerves were moved around. When you add all these extra factors into the equation it’s really difficult to think that the sun will shine again in just a few months time.
I’m starting to wonder to what purpose there might be that God seems to be breaking me down little by little. To have all these things happen to me through no fault of my own – there has to be a reason. I know I serve an awesome God who never fails. I may never really understand, but I guess I will have to just keep plodding along, remembering to watch and listen for Him to reveal something to me.
