It was different this morning. This was the first time we've had Graduate Sunday at the early service. I didn't realize it before yesterday, not seeing it in the bulletin or hearing the announcement. It was quite a surprise. Then Mom told me that her Sunday School Class had decided to go to the early service in support of the graduates. A good thing. But it also meant that there would be very few attendees at the 11am service.
Figuring this might be a good time with few people to worry about I said a prayer all the way to church and, taking my little marked hymnbook, went early and played preludes as the class let out and the people entered for the service. I had a couple of times when I started to get extremely nervous, but I reminded God that we had a deal and that if He would give me courage I would do my best to please Him by playing.
Not having many people there definately helped. I played for about 20 minutes since I had gotten there early. I just played one verse of each song. I played softly and slowly, allowing myself to have time to think as the song drifted by. Later after the service I asked Connie for some serious feedback, knowing she would be honest with me. The only thing she said was that it was a tad soft. I'm sure that's because I was playing lightly on the keys, scared as I was.
So all in all, it was a good thing and a good beginning for me. Facing that fear was a challenge; I've selected to miss church several recent Sundays, afraid that I'd be asked to play and not feeling ready. That was fear making me run. I knew I had to face it if only once in my life.
You know we don't often have real fear these days. Luckily most of us don't face intruders or foes bent on bodily harm. I'm sure we'd all be afraid of that kind of situation. I know if I saw a car coming at me I'd be afraid. If I stood at the edge of a high clift I'd be afraid. But these don't often happen.
I'm talking more about facing fears we place on ourselves, like speaking in public, the kind of fear when we put ourselves in front of others and opening up to criticism and ridicule. Fear of others and what they think is our greatest enemy, holding us back from reaching for goals, acting on ambition, being all that we should and could be.
Face your inner fear this week; take on each day as a challenge to be savored and conquered. ~ LJ
